paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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