So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
