YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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