actually, I'm a sock model
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
