Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
