Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
