You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize