just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize