her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
