Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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