Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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