Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Randomize
