yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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