Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
