If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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