My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
