I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
