I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
