I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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