I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
