And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
