I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize