If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
