I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think my mom watched the whole time
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we should paint friendship bongs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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