I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
