I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
