i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
