Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
