Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
