I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
