I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
