You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
