Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
