so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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