I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
