i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
