I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
