I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
