Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
