I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
