Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
