well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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