Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Randomize
