It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
