I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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