69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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