Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
