i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
