make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
