I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
