did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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