If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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