i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize