Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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