This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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