Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
