Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
