Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
