Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm jealous of your bromance
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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