i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
