mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
