Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
