Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
