i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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