Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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