And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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