I accidentally had phone sex last night
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
