the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
