when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize